Gain mastery over your fears and doubts.


With Farès Chmait

Research findings in different Western countries point to rising insecurity, increasing stress, and the prevalence of Anxiety as a social mood.

Some basic moods of life

Two moods arise from our relationship to uncertainty. These two moods are wonder and anxiety. In a world of accelerating and often disruptive change, uncertainty has become an increasingly prevalent aspect of everyday life. How we relate to uncertainty can be regarded as a core life and work competence.

Two fundamental stances that can be taken in relation to uncertainty;

  • We can’t accept, or oppose uncertainty; which can generate a mood of anxiety
  • We can accept uncertainty; which can facilitate the development of a mood of Wonder.

An ontological interpretation of anxiety is that it stems from fear and it’s important to note that fear plays a vital role in the emotional repertoire of humans.

Fear keeps us alert for possible danger, so we are prepared to defend ourselves and others, or ensure that we can flee from danger and threats.

Sometimes nervousness or mild anxiousness can be helpful to ensure that we are appropriately alert, for example, during a job interview. However, fear that persists and becomes an ongoing aspect of our emotional existence is unlikely to be helpful.

Resentment, Grieving and Resignation, Anxiety can be extremely limiting, even debilitating, seriously compromising the quality of our existence.

  • The first assessment is about the threat to our existence from the external environment.

“The world”, or a part of the world, is not safe and is likely damaging, which could be anticipated physical, emotional or financial damage. We live in the expectation that “bad things” will happen.

  • The second negative assessment is a negative self-assessment. Anxiety is characterized by self-doubt. At the heart of anxiety is a negative self-assessment about our ability to cope with the negative breakdowns. We live from an assessment (as a true assertion!) that we do not have the resilience or power to deal with whatever the world throws at us. Anxiety reflects our lack of our sense of security.

Here is a linguistic reconstruction of anxiety

  • I assess that I live in a world of negative possibilities in which circumstances may occur that will be very damaging to me.
  • I assess that I must be eternally vigilant to harmful negative possibilities.
  • I assess that I do not have the capacity to cope effectively with the occurrence of damaging circumstances.

Stand Up stretch your arms
Breath ….. and Fares will give you the antidote!!!

The mood of wonder is to accept uncertainty.

In wonder we embrace the uncertainty of the world and the mystery of life.

We are not preoccupied with self-protection and seeing the world as full of potential harm Our ontological security (an assured and secure sense of our own being). Which includes a deep inner knowing about our legitimacy, lovability and our capacity to love and be valued by others,

The definition of wonder as it is written in the dictionary is “the emotion excited by the perception of something novel and unexpected, or inexplicable “and is a mixture of surprise, curiosity and sometimes awe.

The word curious comes from the Latin “curious” meaning “care and inquisitiveness” eager to learn, to know and to be inquisitive about something.

From the perspective of Ontological coaching, wonder is regarded as a pervasive background emotional space that predisposes us to continually observe people objects, ideas, events and circumstances with fascination and curiosity.

The Ontological interpretation of the structure of wonder:

Structural component                                          

  1. How the mood is created
  2. Core underlying assessment, affecting view of the world
  3. Behavioral predisposition
  4. Postural manifestation

Ontological structure of wonder

  1. Accepting Uncertainty
  2. The world is a fascinating place that I want to experience and find out about
  3. Openness to explore, to experiment and to discover with no attachment to a particular outcome
  4. Open, relaxed, wide-eyed and general postural ease, ready for engagement

Languaging wonder – to help breathe life into it: “I’m not sure what’s going on here, and I’m interested to find out what will happen and what I can learn from this”

To develop assertiveness, and a relaxed state of being, contact us to learn more about our ontological approach.

Contact us to learn more about our ontological approach, to develop your emotional maturity and develop assertiveness….